Let Love In

While traveling in the plane to see Melody and Campbell in Marysville, WA, I decided to listen to the audiobook, Tuesdays with Morrie by Mitch Albom. Morrie, a former professor of Mitch,  is dying from ALS but decided to live while he dies. Mitch recounts the last “lessons” Morrie teaches during the last months of Morrie’s life.

One quote by Morrie grabbed my attention, so I stopped the audio and started to type on the plane.

“The most important thing about life is to learn how to give out love AND let it come IN. He repeated the last part in a thoughtful whisper, Yes, let it come IN. “

I’ve been recuperating from a fall with multiple rib fractures. Many have attended to my needs from bringing food to helping me go to the bathroom. After the flurry of help flowing in and out of my house left, Pam, my wife, is serving me.

A couple of days ago, Pam was putting sheets on the couch, hopefully creating a space for me to find some restful sleep. As I watched her from the recliner I said, “Thanks for showing me what love looks like.”  “I try” she says. 

I was allowing love to come in. What else could I do? I was physically limited in what I could and could not do. She was giving and I was receiving.

Letting love come in is harder than you think. It has nothing to do with earning what the giver wants to give. Its true that if you are kind, you make it easier for the other person to give love. But, whether you are kind or not, you can not stop someone from loving you. But God demonstrated His love for us in that while we were yet sinners, Jesus died for us.

Our minds can grasp giving love, but why is it hard to receive love? What life experiences caused the inner self to cocoon a barrier which resists the touch of love. Why do we feel unlovable?

God created us with the ability to give and receive love. Marriage and family relationships are the testing grounds where the ebb and flow of giving and receiving love dances upon our hearts.  

In the wedding ceremony, we acknowledge this giving and receiving of love as the bride and groom stare deeply into each other’s eyes. We recognize that they see so much value in one another, that each person will become the object of their deepest affection. They are giving and receiving love.

When you are on the receiving end, you realize you are not in control of the giving of love. Only the recipient. Being  a good receiver shows the great honor and appreciation for the giver. When we choose not to let love in, we are at best resistant and worse counter with rejection.

Here’s the deal. How do you and I move to a better place of letting love in? It’s not tit for tat, because you serve me, now I have to serve you. Rather, think of it as sharing from your own resources of love. When love is displayed make some type of positive response to show you appreciate the gesture. Acknowledgement of the action validates the effort. Making a grateful response opens the door of your heart to let love in.

Here some examples of validating others who are giving. You make the best coffee. Thanks for working so hard. You look fantastic. I appreciate you remembering… You are so thoughtful. I love you. These are all responses that show you recognize love was given and you are responding.

You are loveable. God loves you so much He gave His one and only son Jesus to you. Everything changes when you let that love come into your life.

You don’t have to shed the cocoon all at once, But as you let love in, you will find the beautiful butterfly that others have already seen. The cycle of love is to give and receive, both are needed. Freely receive, freely give.

Tomorrow, Pam and I celebrate 38 years of marriage. We are both humbled for the journey of giving and receiving love to one another. I know I am a blessed man.

Blessings

Love y’all