Loved Ones in Heaven

Recently I listened to the audio of the book Heaven is For Real. It is the story of a nearly four year old boy, who goes to heaven during a near death surgery event. Over the next couple of years he unfolds what he experienced to his parents. Maybe it touched my heart because I am on the other side of the hill of life, or perhaps I am reflective because I have lost some friends recently who have gone on to be with Jesus, but it stirs up the hope for which we anticipate, being with Jesus and seeing the ones we love.

36 years ago, Pam and I were newlyweds. I was working with my dad, erecting metal steel buildings, while Pam began her first post college job as a PreK Teacher. Around September of 1987 Pam let us know that she was pregnant. We were elated.She went to the doctor and began prenatal care.

 My job took me out of town at various times. The week of Thanksgiving, I was working on the other coast of Florida about 2 and ½ hours away. Just to remind the young readers…cell phones were just beginning, the best we had were pagers. Just after noon, Dad got a page that Pam was not feeling well and we should come home. I rode in silence thinking about what that message could be.

Pam had been in touch with the doctor and was sent home for bed rest. Since I was gone, she decided to go to her mom’s and stay in her old bedroom. After returning home, I joined her and we prayed together. In the middle of the night, she started the process of losing the baby. We went to the ER and waited for news from the doctor. The baby miscarried, but also it was hung up in the birth canal. They performed a DNC and we spent our first Thanksgiving day in the hospital. I left to go home to pic up some other clothes for Pam to wear home. On my way back, I stopped by a drug store and picked up a Thanksgiving card. Through my grief and tears I wrote as much as I could to encourage Pam. This is close to part of what I wrote on the card.

This is thanksgiving day and it is really hard to be thankful. Today, however, we know that our first child is in heaven. We thank you, God, for the joy that he or she brought us for the past 3 months. We know that this child was yours from the start, but we are giving him back to you.

We were broken. Over the next several weeks, Pam received cards and phone calls from many women who had experienced miscarriages. Their words brought great comfort to Pam and I. I was amazed at how many women had endured one or even multiple miscarriages. We did not know if we would have any more children or if Pam would be able to complete the pregnancy.

Fast forward 36 years to Thanksgiving yesterday. I am on the couch at  the house of one of my twin sons, holding his youngest boy who is nearly 1 year old and another grandson who is 6 months old. Pam and I have 6 children, 4 are married and 9 grandchildren.

NOW back to my opening paragraph about Heaven is for Real. We actually have 7 children, our first is in heaven waiting on his (for some reason I think it is a boy, but could be a girl) siblings to join him. 

In the true story, Colton the young four year old, tells his parents he meets his sister. He reveals to his parents that they lost the child while it was in mommy’s tummy. No one had ever giving this information to Colton. He tells them the child had no name, because they didn’t name her. Colton and the girl hugged as family members.

Pam and I are going to be able to hold our first born some day in heaven. Emojis can’t capture what is my heart at that last statement.

We are grateful. We are incredibly thankful for the opportunity to live life with our 6 children and the grands. The boundary lines have fallen in good places for us.

As I close, I want to say a prayer for those who are still dealing with the grief of a miscarriage or loss of a child. Our anniversary day of losing our child is actually the 26th, but I felt God wanted me to write all of this today. I hope someone will be encouraged as I was from the reminder in the story from Heaven is for Real. We will see Jesus and be reunited with those who have Jesus in their hearts.

Dear Jesus, we are thankful that you love children. I remember the early song which is so true, Jesus loves the little children, all the children of the world, Red and yellow, black and white, they are precious in His sight, Jesus loves all the children of the world.

Lord, may you bring comfort to the moms who have endured miscarriages. Help them know that they are fearfully and wonderfully made. God created them to carry a baby to full term. Help them to receive peace in their mind and heart that goes beyond the pain of loss of a child.

Lord, help the dads. Would you give them words and compassion to lead their wives and families as priests of their homes. Help them turn conversations toward God and help them hear what God is saying so that they can speak truth to the lies that come to divide and isolate during times of trauma and death.

Lord, sometimes thankfulness is a choice. We say thanks well before any feelings arise. Help us to see that you are good, even in the middle of losing a child or loved one through illness and disease. We trust you in, through, and during our pain. You love us and are good.

We pray all of these things in Jesus’ name.

For those in America, I hope you enjoy the rest of the holiday weekend. I’m on grandparent duty today.

Blessings Love y’all